


out of touch

by peacchy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anger, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Estrangement, F/M, Hurt, Implied Domestic Relationship, One Shot, Pining, There is no happiness here, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, and yamaguchi gets mad at him, future timeline, only pain, tsukki realizes he is a toxic boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23706457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacchy/pseuds/peacchy
Summary: Tsukishima Kei arrives at the precipice of his failing long-term relationship. Desperate for clarity, he asks Yamaguchi for help— only to be presented with the harsh, bitter truth of Kei's own shortcomings as his downfall.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	out of touch

**Author's Note:**

> reader has essentially /ghosted/ tsukki after getting fed up, leaving him to panic over reader's sudden disappearance
> 
> I leave the rest for you to read uvu

“I can’t,” he heaved through strained breaths. “I can’t find her. I searched everywhere. She blocked my number. I can’t even contact her par-“

Yamaguchi’s open palm makes contact with Tsukishima’s cheek, leaving behind a strikingly red mark. The sting gets Tsukishima to return to his senses, looking at his childhood friend in an incredulous stare.

 _What a sorry sight_ , Yamaguchi thinks bitterly. In the years of knowing the ever-logical, ever-composed Tsukishima Kei, it almost sent chills down Yamaguchi’s spine to see the blond in such pity-inspiring behaviour. Seeing an old friend in emotional shambles was not the sort of thing the freckled boy ever wished to get used to.

Tsukishima’s permanent scowl was replaced with a look of utter desperation, his dark under eyes giving the state of his health away. Not long before today, he had been experiencing trouble with sleeping. His insomnia had gotten the best of him, eating him up so bad he had to take the week off from college to get himself checked at a hospital.

Yamaguchi observes the dire state of Tsukishima’s person. His parka was askew, hair sticking out in different directions yet dripping wet. His glasses were awkwardly positioned on the tip of his nose, further amplifying the look of his strained eyes. His once-white runners were streaked with brown and black mud, splattering grainy particles up to his still-pulsing calves. Tsukishima had been running around Miyagi prefecture for no apparent reason, looking for possible links to his estranged girlfriend. He gave up when he finally realised that he had no leads to begin with, anyway. It’s not like he knew anything about his supposed significant other’s friends. 

He knew nothing about her. And that was entirely his fault.

Yamaguchi reaches out and balls Tsukishima’s damp shirt, stained with a mixture of rain and sweat.

“You should have seen it coming, Kei,” he remarks his first name venomously. “She gave so many signs. I warned you. We all warned you. You didn’t listen.”

Yamaguchi glares at the taller man, ready to spit out more harboured resentment for his friend’s painfully dispassionate character. The shorter individual showed no sign of the usual diffidence many were accustomed to seeing, and this shocked Tsukishima to the core.

“She was with you for six years. She watched you— she cheered you on with your passions and helped you build your career from ground-up. She gave you nothing short of love, devotion, commitment… every single day. You should have known when she started making more trips to see her parents. When her dates with her friends turned into sleepovers at their own places. Hell, you should have known from the day I dropped her off at your apartment, eyes so swollen from crying she couldn’t even gather the courage to look at you. You should have known years ago!”

The latter clenches his jaw at the painful memory. He lowers his head in defeat, desperately wishing his past self to at least ask her what was wrong. Instead, he did what he always did: pick up his bag and keys, walk past her, and make his way to the door.

His chest sears with pain as he retroactively angers over his own flaws. There were too many to count, and he was aware of that. Hot tears eventually pool up in his eyes.

But what use is there to lament over something that has since long and passed?

"You're so out of touch," Yamaguchi inhales, "and it took her literally leaving for you to realize that! It took you that long!"

Yamaguchi looks at him with bated breath, awaiting his response. His body tenses in slight unease, believing himself to have gone overboard. Yamaguchi had the capacity to reach a breaking point, Tsukishima knew this very well. Their days as volleyball teammates echoed this. Yamaguchi just didn’t know if Tsukishima was ready for the extent of his cruel, realistic words.

Tsukishima lets out a choked sob, once then twice before letting salty tears spill out. His voice is rough, tired, barely a whisper. It was as if he had been shouting her name for hours under the heavy rains over Miyagi prefecture.

“I just want her back, Yamaguchi,” he croaks. “Please. Help me.”

Now it’s Yamaguchi’s turn to clench his jaw. It truly was a sad sight. Ragged, exhausted. _Tsukishima was a shell of a person._

He almost gives [Y/N] away in a flash of compassion for his best friend.

_Tsukishima was a shell of a person… but so was [Y/N] for years on end._

Yamaguchi shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing deeply. Tsukishima couldn’t tell if it was because of anger, or if it was because of devotion to a promise. “I can’t, Tsukki. She’s my friend too. I can’t betray her interests for your own selfishness.”

_Selfish… that’s right. That’s one way to describe Tsukishima Kei at his worst._

Yamaguchi finally lets go of Tsukishima’s shirt, the force of his grip leaving behind wrinkles on the cloth on his chest.

“I can’t… help you find her, okay, I can't give her away like that,” Yamaguchi apprehensively repeats, “but I’ll do what I can to point you towards the right direction. There's no guarantee that things will go back to the way they were. I don’t know if they ever can.”

Tsukishima’s legs give out and he finds himself sitting on the cold, hardwood floor of what once was his and [Y/N]’s shared apartment. His dizzying head falls into his palms, sobs wracking his body. Whether it was for sadness or relief, Yamaguchi did not know. He could only keep quiet as the mess that was Tsukishima unravelled in front of him.


End file.
